(Intro)
And then the uh, rock opera, goes into my current... obsession.
I call it love. You- you-you and, and m- others might call it obsession. uh.. you..
I say: "tomato." You say: "Obsesh-ee-yone"
And, It's about, (cough) It's an exaggerated, uh, version of a relationship I had.

The waiting room, what a place for our first kiss
Isn't it weird that we both have the same therapist?
All my time with you was so precious
I know we'll probably wind up being mister and misses

'Cause I wined and dined you at 'The Ritz' remember that?
I drank so much I got the shits, remember that?
I got you that facial, and then that massage, what about that??
But you never would let me give you a colonic, what was up with that?
Whatever...

I'm not stalking you
I'm just calling a lot
I'm not trying to upset you
I'm not.
Who's this 'Kevin' guy
I think I should know
I didn't give up three weeks of my life
just to let you go..
Oh, no.. I don't give up that easy.
Come on, I think we can work it out, sweetie!

For nineteen days, we were in love, you FUCKING BITCH!
Oh... my god.
What did I just say,
I didn't mean it!

But you took the dog, and all the booze, and I got jack.
You know those Betsy Johnson skirts and Prada shoes, I think I want those back, yeah.
In fact, why don't you give me back everything I ever gave you. Every Thiiing-a
Including my heart, which you took out of my chest.
Still beating.
And threw it on the ground and did some kind of satanic river dance on it.
And doused it in gasoline, lit it on fire..
And- and put the fire out with some kind of meat tenderizer
And then- as if that wasn't enough,
You had to sit on it,
And let one

I'm not stalking you
I'm just calling a lot
I'm not trying to freak you out
I'm not
Oh, I saw that 'Kevin' guy
I thought you should know
He seems okay
But it's time for him to go
That's right
I think he should get out of the picture right quick
In fact you know what?
I think he should probably
suck my dick
You heard me
I said he should probably
suck my dick

I'm fine alone
Don't worry about me
I said I'm fine!
See, you don't understand
But I know that you're still mine

We've got the perfect relationship in my head
Just like that one movie: Ted, Bob, Carol and Alice
Did I say Ted?
That movie that you wanted me to watch.. Remember, maybe?
Maybe we should watch it now, because I got it at, home, and an i-i-it's it's in on permanant loop, on in-in my apartment.
and you come over, we can snuggle up
and watch, your fucking movie..
How about that? If I would've watched your fucking movie you would've... It's Okay, No...

I'm not stalking you
I'm just calling a lot
I'm not gonna fucking rape you or anything
Seriously, I'm not
Oh, Where's that 'Kevin' guy
Have they found him yet?
You know they're looking in the totally wrong place... I bet.
Finally got him to suck my dick
In fact, why don't both of you
Suck my dick
Thank you